Okay, I was wrong

It snowed, again. I am without a doubt, sick of it. I'm stuck inside again with the kids. On the upside, I had time to revise my query letter and post it for critique again this morning. On the downside, WC has strep throat. So, lets amend that to say I am stuck inside with a child with a very contagious illness. And waiting for his shadow (or Thing 2) to come down with it.  It started Monday morning when he woke up and said he wasn't feeling well. I chalked it up to them being out so much recently that he didn't want to go back. I took his temp and it was normal & I sent him to school. The last thing I said to him when I dropped him off was something about him feeling better once he got back into the swing of things.
At 12:45 I received a call from the school nurse- he had 102 temp. Okay, I was wrong.
He was asleep in the nurses office when I arrived. They bring him out and he's quiet while I sign him out, present my ID and the nurse takes his temp again while I am there. I'm not sure why she took it again in front of me- I believed her. It registered 102.4. As soon as the doors to the school closed behind us, he spoke for the first time since I arrived. "I told you I didn't feel well this morning."
I had to laugh. "Yes, but without a fever, I didn't have any reason to keep you home," I explained. Also, I really thought he'd get better.
At home he slept for three hours and still had a 102 when he woke up. I gave him some Ibuprofen at that point and an hour later it was normal. He had chicken noodle soup and asked for a hamburger. I told him no.
At three in the morning he was in my room, freaking out that he'd swallowed a tooth. He didn't have any loose teeth when he went to bed. Which is what I told him. But, he was convinced. I have to get up and go into the bathroom to inspect his teeth. After my eyes adjust and I verify that all teeth are present and accounted for, I send him back to bed. It must have been a dream.
He spent yesterday with my mom. She called me at 8:45 and said his temp had already hit 100. I decided that I needed to take him to the clinic after work and get an NP to check him over- just in case he had something that needed antibiotics to get over. His fever again responded to medicine but as the day went on and it wore off it returned. By the time we saw the NP at 6, it was 103.
She wanted to give him a strep test. He started to get upset. I told him to just relax and open his mouth as wide as he could and it would be over soon. No big deal. She swabbed and he immediately vomited all over floor & it kept coming. He'd had soft tacos for lunch. Okay, I was wrong.
The only good thing I can see from this latest bout of snow is that the school is closed, so WC will only miss one day of class. He is cleared to return to school tomorrow.

A Change

Whenever you decide to make a change for your child, it can be scary. Am I doing the right thing? We all get set in the routine- the familiar and comfortable. But, what if what’s comfortable isn’t what’s best? We faced these things this past fall when I began to wonder if the daycare facility where CJ spent three days a week was really the best place he could be. Aside from me being at home with him, of course- that isn’t an option right now. So, if he has to spend his days in a care facility- is he in the best one. In October I came to a resounding conclusion. No. And for several reasons:


1. While only being there three days a week, he would come home several times a month with bite marks that were bruised. He was also cited on numerous occasions for biting as well. Although he never bit in any other social situation with children. I began to wonder if they just left them in a room to gnaw on each other. They sure as heck weren’t educating them. Which leads me to:

2. He was out of control- behaviorally. I know that I am the parent and it is my job to parent my child. At the same time when the child is in the care of someone else for 8-9 hours a day- it is imperative that this other caregiver(s) be in cooperation with the parent(s) on how to raise the child. And in my opinion that includes teaching the child how to act. To do otherwise, makes it harder on everyone.

3. They had no educational curriculum or structure. CJ is nearing four. He is smart. They were not sending him up to the next room and wouldn’t tell me why. Now this facility is where WC went and at the time I received assessments twice a year where they tested him on age appropriate skills- letters, number, colors, shapes, etc. I had clear knowledge of his educational progression towards kindergarten. After a year and half, CJ had nothing. It seems they completely quit attempting to provide them with an education or instructions on how to be a decent person.

So, I made the decision to look into other options. WC had started going full time daycare at three and a half and it was getting to the benchmark for CJ as well. He still stayed with my mom for two days of the week. And she also lacked discipline and structure-but she’s the grandparent, so I give her more lenience in that area. But, I knew I didn’t want him going to the current place full time. The first of November I put him on the waiting list of a good Christian school in our area. I’d know a bunch of people to defect from the old daycare when they first opened when WC was there. I prayed, I read, I though, I asked around. I wasn’t sure how long it would take or if we should put him there. So, I prayed some more. Early in December my cell phone rang. It was the Christian school telling me that they had an opening in the 3 room. Would I like to come in for a tour?

That afternoon the boys and I toured the “new school” as it was being called by my boys. I liked what I saw and what I heard. CJ went right in and started playing with the toys. The teacher for his class was out on maternity leave and wouldn’t be back til the end of December and I was welcome to come back then and meet her. I took the enrollment packet home. CJ left calling the place “his new school.”

I filled out and returned the paperwork with a little hesitance. I spoke with the owner and we decided to set his start date for the first of January- that way he could finish the year at old daycare and I could have time to provide notice. I wrote my notice that I was withdrawing his enrollment at the end of the year and turned it in. Then the daycare director expressed what I can only describe as relief. She said she was worried about having to move him to the next room because a child that he didn't get along with was in there. So, they were holding my child back in a lower level room simply because he and another child didn't get along? That didn't seem fair for his development.
At the end of December we were able to visit the new school again and meet his teacher. CJ skips down the hall to the new classroom and happily begins to play with the toys in the new room. I spent about a half an hour speaking with the new teacher and sort of explaining where we were coming from and the challenges that we've faced and his old care wasn't structured. And what I wanted for CJ. When we left, I was completely convinced that this was the right move. She completely understood and explained to me her philosophy and that she has three children of her own. She believed that it is her job to help the parent raise the child.
He started his new school at the first of January. The facility has a webcam that I can access from my computer at work. The first time I pulled it up- I found him sitting in a chair having a time out. Yep, that looks about right. The next time I checked in, they were having circle time. I looked and looked but couldn't see him in the circle. Then from across the room, a head popped up from behind a low bookcase. I just shook my head. Every child was in the circle-but mine.
I spoke with his teacher when I picked him up. Obviously, she could tell that he came from a facility without structure but she assured me that he would get used to it.
And so far he is adjusting well. He's playing well with the other children- no issues with biting. He's happy there. When I pick him up, he isn't in any hurry to leave. I haven't had any problems with him not wanting to go in the morning. He goes around the house singing little songs he's learned there. So far this is turning out to be a really good decision. I'm hoping that in this new environment his learning will really blossom like it was before.

He's A Mans Now

The other day CJ was playing around behind the couch. He'd stripped off his pajama's and was nude. Not that it is a shocking revelation and anyone who has read a few of my posts. I retrieve some clothes from his room and ask him to come to me to be dressed. He skips over and I notice something on his chest. It's fuzzy. He's gotten into something sticky. And in the dead center of his chest is a perfect circle of dark fuzz. WC takes notice when I say that I will wash CJ off. He exclaims that CJ now has chest hair.
CJ looks down and breaks into a wide smile. He puffed his chest out. "I'm a mans now!"
Of course, I can't keep from laughing. "You're a man now?"
He smiles sheepishly. "No, I not a mans now."

When Your Father Has a Concussion, It's Time To Go Inside...

When we brought snow boots home from Pennsylvania last year, I thought that we wouldn't need them again before they outgrew them. But, yesterday morning we woke up to 4 inches of snow on the ground- and it was still snowing. I've never known Jay not to go to work due to weather. He always goes. He stayed home. About midday they all head out into the cold. There's snowball making and rolling around the snow. Why do children feel the need to throw themselves down and roll around in snow?
Then Jay brought out our homemade sled and pulled the boys up and down the street. I used the opportunity to try out my new camera in the snow. I'm watching Jay run backwards pulling the sled when he slips and falls flat on his back- the back of his head hitting the sidewalk.
Six years ago a work colleague of mine died after falling backwards over a concrete parking divider and striking his head. I will not allow my children to ride hanging onto the front of a shopping cart because if they fall there isn't anyway for them to catch themselves. He was a young man and it still haunts me- one minute he's waiving goodbye to friends he'd just eaten dinner with and then he's gone. It's the only thing that flashes in my mind when I see back of Jay's head bounce off the sidewalk. My mind then switches gears and goes to assessing the situation so I can figure out what needs to be done. Jay is getting to his feet by the time I get there. He says he's okay but I'm not convinced. He insists that he just needs a minute. I almost off to pull the boys on the sled so the fun can continue. Almost. The boys cheeks are very red and chapped and Jay is still dazed. So I call an end to snow fun and tell them it's time to go inside. Of course, they protest. Why? Why? Why?
Because, when your father has a concussion, It's time to go inside. That's why.
He still isn't feeling well and I want him to go to the doctor. But he went back to work today, instead.

Larry

For the past couple of weeks WC has declared that he is ‘Larry’ and that he ‘likes to kiss boys named CJ.’ WC will make his announcement then chase a giggling, screaming CJ through the house, catch him then wrestle him to the ground in an attempt to kiss his cheek. Larry gets his wish, most of the time. Occasionally, CJ foils his plans and prevents him from kissing him until they both tire of the game.


So far the only point I see in the game is that it takes advantage of blending their favorite activities: running & wrestling each other. WC merely mentions the name Larry and CJ squeals in spastic delight and off they go. The other night as I was drying them off from bath time, WC said “I’m Larry.” And off went two naked, screaming boys through the house. It looked like a scene from Greco Roman wrestling in the living room.

Saturday night we put the boys to bed, and then Jay and I watched some television before retiring. We’d heard the boys bumbling around in their room and Jay had gone back to put them back to bed. Their bedroom door open and shut after that, but we didn’t hear anything so we assumed that the perpetrator had returned to bed on his own accord. Jay and I go into our room to get ready for bed and we just entered when we hear the long exhale of a sleeping child. I look at the bed-empty. We stare at each other a second and creep around to the other side of the bed. And there in the floor is CJ, sound asleep. He’s on his stomach and wedged between the bed frame and the night table. There’s no way to lift him straight up off the floor- he’d hit the bed frame and night table. We were going to have to slide him out then lift him. I go to open their bedroom door and WC sits right up. We asked if he knew his brother was in our room, he shook his head no. But, we knew he wouldn’t be awake unless he knew that his brother wasn’t in the bed below. In CJ’s bed, a giant stuffed dog was placed under the covers, as if were being made to look like CJ sleeping in his bed. We placed a sleeping CJ back into his bed.

The next morning we asked if CJ remembered going into our room and falling asleep in the floor. He did; he said that Larry was after him. Then we were able to get the story out of WC. WC said that he was Larry and CJ jumped out of bed and ran out of the room. WC fearing that he would be in trouble placed the stuffed dog into CJ’s bed hoping we wouldn’t notice the difference. That’s a 7 year old for you- hoping we wouldn’t notice the difference between a stuffed dog and our 3 year old. Then WC laid in bed worrying about where CJ went off to. And CJ had sought refuge from Larry by hiding behind our bed and fell asleep.

A Look Back III

I'm spending the last week of 2010 reminiscing all the crazy things that happened with my bunch from the nest. One common theme that I've had this year is the inability to keep my kids in clothes. So I'll close the year out with one about my little nudist from June:

6 Words


"I need to speak with you." Is a statement that when uttered by your child's care provider upon you're arrival in the evening makes even the most seasoned parent shudder. No matter your mood prior to that statement- you exhale loudly, shoulders slump and ask, 'What did he do know?'

The subject of that statement in this instance was WC. Now, he's a pretty good kid and rarely ever gets into trouble. But when the boy does something, he doesn't half-ass it. He goes after being in trouble with the same intensity as being well behaved. It's all or nothing...no middle ground. And his trouble is never fighting or anything malicious. It stems more from the fact he's a free-spirit...I guess that's the way to describe it. CJ's troubles always stem from him believing the world should revolve around him and to hell with anyone who doesn't agree- but then he is three & we're working on it.

So, on this day I arrive to the 6 words spoken by the head camp counsellor and she pulls me off to the side.

My son and some other boys- all 6 yrs old went to the bathroom connected to the gymnasium and as with any gym bathroom there's a shower room. They decided it would be fun to take a shower. So they all strip naked and are running around in the open shower room. I'm unsuccessfully trying not to laugh as she describes discovering a shower room full of wet naked little boys. So they all had to have a talk about private parts and not romping around with the parts God gave you flapping in the breeze.

Both of the boys run around naked all the time at home- after a bath & before pj's they run streaking through the house, squealing with laughter. Nudity isn't anything that I've raised them to be ashamed of. But it never occurred to me that he would do this with total strangers. It was all innocent. I've had multiple discussions with him about his private parts and not allowing anyone to touch them. And he's not to touch anyone else and if someone asks him to then he needs to say no and go tell an adult. I keep that a running discussion that I bring up periodically- usually during the bath time. But now I've also had to tell him that he can't get naked at day camp.

My Dad laughed hysterically when I told my parents what their grandson had done. And his comment was about how smart the boy is. Smart? Smart?

I don't get how organizing the first grade nudist colony can be considered smart?

****
Wishing everyone out there a very safe and happy New Year.

A Look Back II

Today I am posting what I still think is the most frightening thing to happen in 2010
Originally posted in February from our trip to Pennsylvania:

If Your Brother Thinks it's a Good Idea...

There we were, sitting around my friends living room. The Mallomar incident (see below) had come and gone. We sat there talking and laughing; the children were quietly playing upstairs. It was too quiet...for too long. As a seasoned mom, this should have tipped me off. But really, they had their back pack from home filled with games and an entire chest of toys, crayons, markers, etc. up in our room. Why would they possibly need any other form of entertainment? Why would they go roaming around in some one else's bedroom...let alone her husbands closet? What would be so interesting about a man's wardrobe?

I've been a mom for six years; oh how I should have known better than this...

Back downstairs Jay, Michele, her infant twins and myself sat blissfully unaware that, the tweedle brothers had located an old wooden rocking horse that Michele had carefully hidden away in the back of Peter's closet. They ever so stealthily removed the horse from it's hiding location and silently slid it across the wooden floor over our heads. WC had formulated a plan for this horse. I've often said that if he jumped off a cliff that CJ would follow...not only is that literally true but CJ will also allow WC to send him off that cliff first.

Perched at the top of the stairs, WC put CJ on that horse.

The worst crashing noise I've ever heard in my life came bounding down those stairs. From my vantage point all I could see was wood and feet. Initially I didn't know which child had come down. Jay, who was sitting in direct view of the bottom of the stairs saw it, in slow motion. He was to the crash scene first and pulled CJ up and immediately handed him to me.

CJ was in hysterics. I sat down with him and began to inspect him for damage- there just had to be something broken. In those rare moments of real danger I've noticed that I manage to sort of automatically stuff any emotion relating to 'my baby is hurt' sort of thing. I don't genuinely become scared until after the fact; then the Oh My God sets in. I felt around his head, I moved his limbs, poked & prodded his body listening for him to cry in pain instead of the scared wail. I couldn't find any obvious damage- how could that be?

While I examined CJ, Jay went to find the obviously missing piece of the puzzle- WC.

We turned Sesame Street on tv to see if that would help draw his attention away from what happened and help calm him. It worked. But it didn't help make sure he didn't have a concussion because a two year old watching Elmo isn't exactly the most responsive thing in the world. While he watched, I continued my examination and feeling for lumps and looking for bruises. I began to ask him questions about what was happening in the show and he could tell me. Sometimes it would take a minute to respond but he could tell me. It appeared that he had some redness around his left eye- we figured it would be black the next day.

How did he go down those stairs on a rocking horse and not end up with something broken?

If I had fallen down those stairs, I'd have ended up in a full body cast.

After a while, he climbed out of my lap and began playing again. That night when we went to bed, I poked him to make sure he would stir. Something I learned the last time I had to watch him for signs of concussion.

The next morning, he had a spot near his left eye but no bruising. How?

Then, the thoughts about how it could have turned out scared the hell out of me.