Back to Reality

Today, I'm back to working in my cubicle. It was a nice break. I hated to come back. I do wish last week was my reality every day. And this August it should have been. I was supposed to quit this August- stay home with CJ and take WC back and forth to kindergarten. But life hasnt worked out the way we planned. Jay's pay has been cut. Which in itself isn't the sole reason why I can't quit. It's the health insurance. We can't afford his employers health insurance- especially on one income. Mine is affordable and good. His would make it impossible to take the kids to the doctor because we'd have to pay out of pocket the entire cost of every visit until we hit the deductible of like $6k on top of paying $500 a month in premium. In weighing the pro's and con's- I feel its in their best interest to have health care that doesnt force us to choose whether or not to eat or what bills to pay. We run a tight enough budget weekly as is. I dont think either of them suffer from me working. It's totally selfish of me. I want to see them more than just a few hours in the evening. It was difficult for me to drop CJ off this morning. He loves his grandmother- so he was fine with it. Again, it's totally me.

We ended our week at home together by buying fish for our new tank. We now own 8: 4 black neon tetras and 4 black skirt tetras. I got impatient waiting for the tank to cycle. I discovered the product called cycle that i added would not reproduce on its own in the tank & I would have to add it for the life of the tank- else my cycle would crash and in the end cost more money. So I found some Tetra SafeStart. This stuff is supposed to introduce the beneficial bacteria in the tank and reproduce on its own. You add it and the fish. In a week to ten days test the water & see if it worked. On the downside if it doesnt work- I'm doing 50% water changes daily until enough beneficial bacteria grow to consume the ammonia that the fish waste produces- ammonia which is toxic to the fish. Or I'll have dead fish. Fingers crossed that the bacteria reproduces on its own. My impatience may cost me here. The boys had a time in the fish store. We went into Nashville to a place called Aquatic Critter-it's been there like 25 years. It was the only place I could locate the SafeStart. I dont know why no one carries it. I guess because it doesnt require adding it to every water change-therefore they can't sell it as often. Unlike your pet superstores the small store just specializes in fish. The boys were in overload excitement at all the fish & "critters." There were frogs, turtles, salt and freshwater fish of all sizes and stingrays- both of them about jumped out of their skin trying to look at everything. I couldnt contain them. WC now wants a snail for the aquarium. I've promised him I'd research it and see if its a viable option for our tank.

The fourth of July was a nice day too. We didnt really do anything. Jay cooked hamburgers and my sister came for dinner bringing cake and sparklers. Fireworks in my town is a big deal. We only have enough people to have one liquor store- the ability to sell alcohol by the bottle just passed in the last election. But we can have 50 fireworks vendors setup in any grassy area big enough to pitch the tent. It's nuts. That night we stood in the driveway and was treated to a 360 view of fireworks exploding all around us. It sounds like a war zone- with the smoke to match. And thankfully it started to rain about 9:30 which meant most people had to put it away- otherwise they would have shot them off until the wee hours of the morning. I'm just now getting used to it. The first year we lived there the people who lived across the street shot fireworks for three hours straight. It sounded like cannons being shot directly in front of our house. And the next morning we had the yard litter to match- even in the back yard. 

I'm thankful that I was able to take last week off and spend it at home with my boys. I'll take what time I'm granted. I'm thankful that I do have a job with good benefits- lots of people right now don't. There's something else out there for Jay, that's better. And when the times right, everything will come together. Faith is believing without any proof.