Six Years Ago Today

On October 7, 2003 at 8:04 am, I became a mom. I had my first baby- A boy. A 7lb 8 oz, 19 inch long baby boy. They held him up a second before they took him away and in the face- he looked exactly like Jay. If I had not seen him I still would have been able to pick him out of a newborn line up- yep that's mine right there. A mini-Jay.
The nurse brought him to me some time later (c-section birth) and handed me this baby wrapped up like a burrito under maximum security. And I didn't have a clue what to do with him. I stared at him and thought, 'now what?' My life has never been the same. Funny thing is that I don't remember life before him and yet at the same time it doesn't feel that six years have past. It doesn't seem possible to feel both at the same time.
It took me about a year to grow into Motherhood. We intentionally had WC but at first the reality of being a mom coupled with postpartum depression (I later learned) stole what should have been a better time for me. He was probably about nine months old when the fog began to lift and it wasn't until around his first birthday that I realized how bad I had actually felt. Then I began to truly enjoy him and I haven't looked back.
Yesterday when I picked him up he ran up to me and did a little dance and yelled, "My birthday is tomorrow!"
The parents standing next me laughed. "Boy, birthdays get less and less exciting as time goes on, don't they," I said. And they agreed.
This morning he immediately wanted to open the box that had arrived from Michele & Peter and we had to make him get dressed first. He opens the first package, Transformers sheet set. He holds it up over his head and dances around. Then with eager anticipation he waited on Jay to cut open the box with his knife. He pulls it out of the box and yells, "Transformers....it's a Transformers....What is it?" We explain it's a comforter, it goes on the bed. You can use it instead of your quilt for the winter. His entire bed can be Transformers. "Cool," he responded. I had to make him put it down and eat breakfast.
I have a feeling I'll be running a load of sheets when I get home.
He has his whole evening planned out this afternoon, I've discovered. Yesterday, I gave him the option of attending his usual karate class tonight or going to Friday's class instead. I'm surprised that he chose to wait until Friday because tonight's instructor is Mr. H. his absolute favorite. And we don't know who teaches on Friday. But he wants me to make him tacos for dinner & he knows I don't have time if we go to karate. This afternoon I am supposed to pick him up first and we go to the store for things to make tacos and he can pick out a small cake or other sweet treat (his party isn't until the 17th) before we pick up CJ. I'm going to make every effort to get out of work early today in order to do this. What he doesn't know is that he also has a birthday present from Jay & myself that he will get tonight. A GI Joe, Snake Eyes action figure and because a good guy needs a bad guy to fight a "bad guy" action figure.
I still can't believe it. Today's the 6 year anniversary of the day that changed my life, forever. Right after I looked at him and thought, 'now what?' I said to him, "Hi, I'm mom." And there's nothing else that I'd rather be called.