Here Goes Nothing

Panic struck at 4 am on Sunday morning. I woke startled with one thought- Oh God, what have I done?


You see back during the summer before WC entered kindergarten, I’d enrolled him in karate. I was worried, with his personality that he would be picked on. So he spent a year going to class. It was trying, initially- he cried every class for the first 6 weeks. Eventually he seemed to come into his own and become comfortable with it. He excelled quickly and learned easily. Of course, he had his meltdowns when he didn’t catch on quickly as he thought he should. Unfortunately, he graduated to a belt that no longer met at the time I could take him. The next class level up was an hour earlier- virtually impossible for my schedule to accommodate. Sadly, I turned in notice. And put him scouts for an activity. He stopped karate practice at the end of July. After his seventh birthday in October, is when I began to notice that he was beginning to go downhill- as far as focus, concentration, and self image. I’m not sure if it really has anything to do with it- but it got me to thinking recently. I really wanted to put him back into karate. I began to search out dojo’s closer to our home than our previous facility. The ones that would work on the time wouldn’t work as far as nights. Thursday night is open library at school where we read and he takes his tests. It’s the only time he gets to do this required activity. And he wants to finish scouts, which is Tuesdays. Initially, I was looking for class for both WC & CJ-But decided to put that away.

Then someone I work with told me about the after-school program her daughter attends that picks her up from the school- takes her to the karate studio where they have homework & snack and then a karate class for 45 minutes three days a week. And conditioning skills class the other two. And to top it off this only cost two dollars more a week than what I pay now. When I asked her who it was, I was floored to discover it was already one of the people I’d spoken with when I was looking for class for both kids. I’d really liked him. She had nothing but positive things to say about him & the program.

All four of us went in to meet him on Saturday. WC walks in and starts to say, “I don’t know about… Are those swords on the wall? Cool! And (sparring) gear!” He was off to stare at the swords hanging on the wall. He went over the program and he only has ten other kids in his afterschool program. It’s just him and one other woman (who we also met) and he has no desire to grow beyond 15 kids. So we signed him up. He’ll start March 7th. I think the small size will benefit WC- who doesn’t like large crowds and is easily overwhelmed. WC’s main concern seems to be not knowing where to go at school once he begins to be picked up by the karate instructor. I explained to him that once I let his teacher know about the change that she would make sure that he knew what to do.

This leads me back to my 4am panic attack- I’ve never had anyone else pick him up from school and transport him elsewhere. He’s going to be scared. What if something happens? What if someone hurts him, teases him, or (God forbid) abuses him? Am I really doing the right thing? Will this really help?

I’m still not sure. The only thing I can do is pray about it.

Tomorrow morning is my conference with his teacher and school guidance counselor.