Thursday, October 22, 2009

Strawweight???

Ever since he started kindergarten, WC, has begun exhibiting unusual behaviors. I rarely had any trouble out of him in daycare. He never even went through the "terrible two's" The thing that has me most concerned is his new fondness for pushing, shoving, spitting and hitting. I'm not saying he's going to school and picking fights with his classmates. He isn't aggressive but he's decided the way to deal with others who do things that he doesn't care for is to act out physically. For example the latest in the line of skirmishes happened Monday in which the girl whom he'd previously called fat hit him and he retaliated. She immediately runs crying to the teacher who asks him if he hit her. His response was, "Nope, I punched her." And when Jay told him that he shouldn't hit a girl he said, "You should see the size of her belly and arms!" Dude, you seriously have to stop. If I were this little girl, I'd want to squash this little twerp into the ground too.
Once in the Principal's office, WC learned another life lesson- people lie. The Principal asked WC what happened and he put it all out there- she hit him & he punched her. Then she turned to the girl and asked. "Did you hit him?" The girl said no. He was dumbfounded. And hopefully not taking mental notes. Cause on the bright side, at least he's honest about what he's done. The principal did role playing scenarios at the proper responses- such as telling the teacher. WC claims that he "forgets" that is what he is supposed to do. I just think he doesn't want to tell and considers that being a tattle-tale. At this point I've spoken to him, Jay, Cat, his teacher & the principal have all spoken to him. I'm beyond frustrated and really want to turn him over my knee and wear him out. But I don't. Not that I have anything against using spanking as a discipline tool. I believe a parent should discipline their own child in the manner they see fit. And discipline is different from abuse in which I have no tolerance for abusing a child. This isn't a forum for what is right & wrong just a side note to my story. For me spanking seems like it should be a last resort and not done in a moment of total frustration. And doesn't really seem appropriate for this situation- ultimately. We are telling him that he should not hit people when they don't behave in the manner in which he wants. And yet what would I be doing if I were to spank him? So I resist the urge to back hand him.
Over this past summer I decided to enroll WC in karate- for many reasons. And some of those reasons was to help teach him self-control, discipline, respect, confidence, as well as an outlet for energy. Right now it seems the only things learned is the proper way to level someone and confidence to actually do it. Perhaps still lacking the emotional maturity to walk away in the heat of the moment. Last night while he was in class with his favorite instructor, Mr. H. I noticed his other instructor, Ms. C in the office. So I went in for a little chat about WC's recent behavior. She said what they teach in class is to tell the other person to stop and then if they don't then to go tell the nearest adult. Which is the same spiel from the school. But she suggested that she slip a note to Mr. H who would address the issue to the whole class- not single out WC. But just incorporate it into the nights lesson. Perhaps coming from an admired male authority figure- such as Mr. H it would carry a bit of clout and he'd remember. If this doesn't work then they could speak with him one-on-one and ultimately he could lose his belt if he doesn't quit hitting. This is something they take very seriously that the students conduct themselves respectfully and with integrity both in the studio and out in the world.
When the class broke up in groups by rank- WC's group sat on the floor w/ Mr. H and he held about a 15-20 minute discussion with the boys before they ran through their drills. I still don't know what was said. I'll be so grateful if it works. So stay tuned...
 

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