Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Easy Way to Wake Your Parents: Preschool Edition

In the hour before sunrise on Saturday morning I was in a peaceful, dreamless sleep. Unaware of the jolt that would send me from serene to my hair standing on end. A blaring light entered my consciousness. I thought for a brief second that perhaps I'd died and it was that great bright light we always hear about. Then..."I gotta go pee-pee" screamed its way into my ears. Now, I'm certain that I'm not dead...but I can't see. I hold my hand up to block the glaring light from our ceiling. Jay has jumped up and mumbling some version of what the ****is going on? "CJ, turn that light off," I yell. "But, I gotta go pee-pee," he replied.
I roll from the bed and stumble across the room holding one hand out in front of me. On a good day, I'm visually challenged. Now sans glasses and with scorched cornea's the world is a blurry purple splotch. "You should have just come up to my side of the bed and told me." I say. I switch off the light and he turns to huff away. "You made me sad," he yells. "You blinded me," I yell back. "Now get in that bathroom."
We take of that and I take him back to bed. "But, I'm hungry," he protested. I retrieve a slice of cheese from the fridge. I leave him in bed eating his cheese and return to my room. But my heart is still pounding and the adrenaline pumping through my system, so I'm not sure that I'd be able to return to a peaceful slumber. I lay next to Jay; assume he'd gone back to sleep. A couple  minutes later he says, "I think I may have wet myself a little."