My Grandmother used to say that she wanted her flowers now not on her grave. At that point I didnt get what she meant. I thought flowers were a ridiculous waste of money. Why spend it on something that was just going to die? It's been two years since she passed away and I think I get it. In the past year I witnessed friends lose children and a spouse. This morning my friend realized he'd forgotten his daughters field day at school and when he dropped her off the school was brimming with parents staying with their kids. By the time he got to work he was a wreck. And while I like to think that I'm sensitive I said to him there would always be next year. In hindsight it was terrible comment. Luckily he didnt listen to me. He followed his heart and left work to go back to his kids school and make memories with her. Because what if there isnt next year? His wife was a 41 year old healthy woman. Who would have ever thought that one day in February he would wake up to normal then in a few brief hours she'd be gone? It made no sense.
It isn't so much about the flowers, it's the gesture of appreciation. Make them now, while those you love are here. My grandmother wanted to feel that she was appreciated then. She knew how it felt to lose parents, siblings, children, friends. And knew that once they were gone you'd wish you'd had more time and shared love more readily. None of us knows what the future holds. Enjoy the time you have with those you love right now. My friend knew this and his priority was spending the time with his daughter, not sitting behind his desk doing some mundane job while she was alone surrounded by her friends who have a parent there. We're lucky enough to get time off work.
I ordered my mom and mother-in-law some flowers for Mother's Day. And had a mental cow at the cost of the shipping. But again, it isnt about the flowers. It's about showing those who I love how much I appreciate them in my life and I want them to know it now. Also, a lovely bouquet makes a room cheery and adds a nice warm, happy feeling.
Oh, and I did give my Grandmother flowers while she was still alive. It was in her later years, but I'm glad I did.
In this crazy world it can be hard to slow down. But take some time to let those who you love know.
And to all you moms out there everywhere...Happy Mother's Day!